Don't Let Me Fall

Looking down, it is a long drop, a long way to fall

emotions running wild, heart rate increases

there is a thrill as the blood runs in the veins

in a frantic pace as you contemplate the drop

trying to smile, trying to remember, trying to hope

been here before and has lost too many times

been here before and has fallen too many times

this time it will hurt much more 

is there any escape? is there any help?

knees almost buckle, legs are getting heavy

you can't feel your hands but you can see them

yet you wonder if they are still there

the tears build up, not again, you whisper

made some strides lately and was feeling great

finally things were looking and moving up

then this, this can't be happening, not right now.

Looking down, it is a long way to fall

no cushion or ocean or safety net, just earth

you try to encourage yourself with a thought

"well if I fall, then it will be all over, 

no more losing, no more falling"

you question, "will the earth open to swallow me?"

you answer, "that would be better. 

no trace, no dead body, no evidence."

Looking down, it is a long way to fall

it will hurt but it will be over soon

but deep inside there is a quiet thought and strength,

a wish, a hope, a prayer, a cry, 

"don't let me fall."

Faithfulness

I stand here feeling alone.
where are you?
why did you not come?
what about your promises?
I trust you, but this has shaken my faith.
are you still there?
are you listening?
Please answer me.
I know you love me,
but I am at a loss to understand
why this has happened.
are you still here holding my hand?
My eyes are filled with tears,
they are stuck together.
As a matter of fact, I don't want to
open them. 
O, I feel it's better to not see again.
Better to not see the smiles of others.
Better to not face life again. 
Better to not feel again.
Better to not feel pain.
question, where is the joy in this?
maybe it is better to be numb?
are you there?
are you listening?
I need you. I really need you.
Help me to believe in your love a little more
today than I did yesterday.
Help me to see you even with my eyes closed.
Even as the tears stream down my face.
Even as the pain rages on inside.
Help me to feel your warmth and loving embrace.
Help me to trust a little more in your promises today than 
I did yesterday. 
Especially, that you were there with me
when all this went down,
and that you are here with me today, and will be tomorrow.
Today I am trying to rejoice but it is hard,
and I am grateful you know that
and still choose to love me unconditionally.
Your word says I will find strength in your joy.
Your word says in my weakness your strength is 
made perfect.
So, in spite of my tears, my pain, my disappointment,
my questions, and all the indifferent emotions and thoughts,
I say: Thank You. 
Thank you for being near, 
for never forsaking,
for always loving,
and for being true to your promises.
Help me to never lose faith in You
and Your promises, 
O faithful God.


P.S: This was written for a couple going through a tough time at the moment.

You

The sun smiles, its rays caresses my face
it brightens my countenance
and my whole being lights up
but there is more to it than that

The butterflies flutter with such grace
decorating the fields with their beauty
flying carefree and am enjoying it
but there is more to it than that

The wind blows sweetly against my back
its arms around me
I am loving its gentle embrace
but there is more to it than that

The birds call out as they take flight
their formation is a wonderful sight to behold
I take pleasure in it and stare
but there is more to it than that

The more is because of a gift
The more is because of a joy
The more is because of a love
The more is because of a pleasure
The more is all because of You,
and I am grateful.

Obedience

Dear Father:
May we be obedient to you instead of striving to be popular.
May we be obedient to you instead of striving to prove our way is best.
May we be obedient to you instead of trying to play it safe.
May we be obedient to you instead of trying to prove our strength.
May we be obedient to you instead of following other wisdom.
May we be obedient to you instead of following the majority.
May we be obedient to you instead of running away.
May we be obedient to you instead of running to our own plans.
May we be obedient to you instead of working to impress others.
May we be obedient to you instead of working to our own ends.
May we be obedient to you instead of just talking about it.
May we be obedient to you instead of just thinking about it.
May we be obedient to you instead of our feelings.
May we be obedient to you instead of other teachings.
May we be obedient to you instead of what we view as rational.
May we be obedient to you instead of what is promoted as right.
May we be obedient to you having count the cost.
May we be obedient to you with unfailing compromise.
May we be obedient to you as living sacrifices.
May we be obedient to you with all out commitment.
O God, bring us to this place where our obedience to you is unquestionable.
Help us to see that our belief and trust in you is seen in the our level of obedience.
Help us O God, to imitate Jesus as we strive to live in obedience.
And always pray, Lord, not my will, but your will be done.
Thank you so much.
                                            Amen!

God and a girl

There was once a girl, beautiful and sweet,
she subtly stole my heart, and knocked me off my feet.
This girl was lovely, generous and kind,
it really felt good, that she had captured my mind.

This girl loved me too, which of course I could not believe,
I thought there was some trick, that she had up her sleeve.
So I looked to find the trick, but found that there was none,
she was genuine, and I knew for real my heart she'd won.

There was once a girl, gorgeous and refine,
she subtly got my attention, and I could not decline.
This girl was a beauty, made of sugar and spice,
it really felt good, because she was so nice.

This girl I really cared for, there was nothing for me to lose,
but it didn't work, and it did hurt, and I had to sing the blues.
Not good news I know but it was God's plan I now see
to save me from myself so I can be what he desires of me.

He did not want to go that far, but I left him no choice
he had enough of me not to listening to his voice.
Always wanting to do things my way, to captain my ship
Asking his help sometimes, but not accepting much of it.

This girl I still love, and always will, she's great
for she did what was best and that I truly appreciate.
I am not the best fit for her, in honesty I can now say,
God will bring her that person, and that I believe and pray.

What is it?

He sits, he stands, he sings, he speaks
is it real? or is it a dream?
He smiles, he cries, he hurts, he laughs,
is it real? or is it a dream?
He likes, he dislikes, he feels, he numbs,
is it real? or is it a dream?
He desires, he inspires, he aspires, he perspires
is it real? or is it a dream?
He praises, he curses, he vows, he doesn't
is it real? or is it a dream?
He studies, he crams, he tries, he doesn't
is it real? or is it a dream?
He works, he loafs, he gives, he doesn't
is it real? or is it a dream?
He seeks, he searches, he longs, he hunts
is it real? or is it a dream?
He believes, he doubts, he trusts, he fears
is it real? or is it a dream?
He cares, he neglects, he remembers, he forgets
is it real? or is it a dream?
He befriends, he betrays, he joins, he separates
is it real? or is it a dream?
He writes, he thinks, he hopes, he dreams
is it real? or is it just a dream?
He succeeds, he fails, he frees, he imprisons
is it real? or is it a dream?
He attends, he dispels, he waits, he rushes
is it real? or is it a dream?
He keeps, he disposes, he holds, he releases
is it real? or is it a dream?
He helps, he shares, he builds, he empowers
is it real? or is it a dream?
He fights, he cowers, he accepts, he refuses
is it real? or is it a dream?
He serves, he steals, he hires, he fires
is it real? or is it a dream?
He plants, he uproots, he saves, he kills
is it real? or is it a dream?
He doesn't know, but he wants to,
so what is it? 

Be Still

I woke up yesterday morning with that verse of scripture on my mind. Psalm 46:10a, "Be still and know I am God." Most of my day was spent thinking about that verse. My theme song was "I am God" by Kirk Franklin and TobyMac. Whilst writing this I am listening to that song. The focus of that song is this same verse, Psalm 46:10a. It is an honest song that has a powerful truth and message.

We find it hard to be still, especially with our busy lives. We feel insecure and get fidgety when we are not doing anything. It's like we are getting a panic attack. After all, we measure busyness and productivity by how much we do. Sometimes it seems like a sin to just sit and relax for a few minutes. There are times we confuse relaxation and times of being refreshed with laziness. So imagine when we come across this verse. Holy smokes, that can't be for us today? Nah. That was for those people in those old days. You know, before technology and our modern times. They had more time to "kill", I don't. I got to keep going and doing. I won't stop till I drop. We may not say this in words, but our actions do.

A look at the passage will quickly point out the many things happening. Mountains moving into the sea. Mountains trembling. Nations raging. Water roaring and foaming. Kingdoms tottering. Substitute those for things happening in your life and around you. The psalmist talks about where his refuge and strength lies. He gives an invitation. He said, "Come, behold the works of the Lord, ... (v. 8-9)." Then comes the advise. Then comes words of peace. Then comes the voice of a loving Father. Words of comfort. Words from the one who is The Almighty. "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

Spoken with all authority. Spoken with total assurance. Spoken fully and unmistakably.  Though the mountains tremble. Though the mountains be moved into the sea. Though the waters roar and foam. Though the nations rage. Though life is getting crazy. Though life is hard at the moment. Though tomorrow seems hopeless. Though you are weak, tired, want to escape. There is only one thing to do, "Be still, and know that God is God." Sounds easy I know, but it is hard.

Imagine this for a moment. If you find yourself in such a situation, where the mountains are trembling. The waters roaring and foaming. Nations raging. Mountains moving into the sea. All of this happening around you. Life would seem hopeless. You would be expecting to die, right? You can't do anything to save yourself. Imagine how crazy it is to be told, "Be still and know that God is God." We will struggle to make sense of that message. We need to be rescued. We want to be as far away as possible. Probably as far as another continent. But there is nothing you can do to save yourself. Your only hope is to trust in those words. If trusting in those words was your only way to ensure you survive, would you not try it? Would you not ask for help to be still? I know I would. God wants us to. In such a time we will truly experience that mighty fortress, a bulwark never failing.

Be Still, And Know That I Am God.