Do you really love me?

Do you really love me?
The question rings out, it searches the depths of our hearts
it challenges what we say, what we think, what we convey
it challenges what we say we believe
Do you really love me?
what do our actions communicate when we are with others?
what is the manner of our conduct when we are alone?
Do you really love me?
what is the focus of our hearts?
what is the motive that lies within?
would we want others to see the secret places?
Do you really love me?
have we considered this question in all honesty?
why is this question being asked?
three times Jesus asked Peter this question.
the question is also for us today
what are we feeding on?
who are we feeding?
are we feeding anyone?
Do you really love me?
the question remains
we must search ourselves
it is not just an emotional response
it is not just a philosophical response
it is not just a financial response
it is not just a talent use response
it is not just a spiritual response
it is not just a time management response
it is all of these together, done intentionally
and with a resolute commitment
not alone, but in total dependence and submission
to the one who asks the question.
Do you really love me?

None like you

You are always our boldness in times of fear
You are always our truth in times of deceit
You are always our strength in times of weakness
You are always our freedom in times of captivity
You are always our peace in times of storm
You are always our light in times of darkness
You are always our hope in times of despair
You are always our friend in times of loneliness
You are always our order in times of chaos
You are always our mercy in times of judgment
You are always our grace in times of sin
You are always our only way in times when we are lost
You are always our living water in times of thirst
You are always our bread of life in times of hunger
You are always our holiness in times of filth
You are always our unconditional love in times of hatred
You are always our patience in times of frustration
You are always our abundance in times of lack
You are always our disciplinarian in times of disobedience
You are always our punisher in times of rebellion
You are always our forgiveness even in times of rebellion
You are always our joy in times of sadness
You are always our clothing in times of darkness
You are always our armour in times of warfare
You are always our life in times of death
All good gifts come from you.
There is no one like you. None!

What do you conclude?

Consider the price, Consider the sacrifice:
what is your conclusion?
Consider the life, Consider the ministry:
what is your conclusion?
Consider the miracles, Consider the tears:
what is your conclusion?
Consider the love, Really consider the love:
what is your conclusion?
Consider the submission, Consider the serving:
what is your conclusion?
Consider the joy, Consider the peace:
what is your conclusion?
Consider the salvation, Consider the freedom:
what is your conclusion?
Consider the cross, Really consider the cross:
what is your conclusion?
Consider the promises, Consider the relationship:
what is your conclusion?
I pray your conclusion leads to gratitude, submission,
obedience, worship and prayer.

Unsure

Have I lost or is it just a test?
Whatever it is is hard to digest.
Do I want more or become less?
Either way there are things to confess.
Is it grief or is it just tears?
Maybe it is more than it appears.
Who am I and do I know myself?
The answers lie in a special book on my shelf.
Is my heart still beating or is it dead?
Afraid to find out, so I just lie in bed.
Should I run away or make a stand?
Either way is unplanned.
Am I really broken or just beyond repair?
The answer avoids me even in prayer.
Will I forget or do I just choose to remember?
These memories just seem to saunter.
Will I ever be sure or just live in uncertainty?
Looking ahead is filled with days dark and dreary.
Is it my thoughts or is it really your voice I hear?
Something's gotta give to make it clear.
Should I stop here or keep going?
The answer evades me so I keep going.
Will I ever know or do I already know?
Maybe it's better to be unsure.

From the heart

I've been costing you a lot lately
more so over the past few years,
how can you not be ashamed of me,
when you've had to shed so many tears?.

I've failed badly, I want to hide
but you keep looking out for me,
seeking to draw me to your side
by your grace amazing, full, and free.

I did and did not, to be in control
worked hard to be on my own,
doing whatever I please, it's my role
to live as I choose, to reap what I've sown.

You never give in, you never give up
your grace, so sure and rich, is more than enough,
Jesus paid for my sins, he drank the cup
he did it for me and it is more than enough.

So, here I am, seeking your face
take all of me, I really want to change,
in my heart and life, please set the pace
conform me to your will, my mind renew, rearrange.

Let my heart be filled with praise
no matter what is my desire,
trusting in your sovereign ways,
I'm here Lord, set my life on fire.

Father in heaven, hallowed be your name
your kingdom come, your will be done,
with you as my God I'll never be the same
hands lifted high the battle's won.

I bow and worship, with a heart anew,
gazing into your face as you call me friend,
living free by your words full and true,
to your power and glory forever, Amen!

The love of great friends

It is a wonderful thing to have great friends,
for you experience something that is permanent,
even if you are separated by time and space,
in your heart and theirs remains a special place.
you feel and experience what love is even when not said,
but you know because actions of love cannot be mistaken.
they take time to listen, they are not afraid to speak,
they love to serve, and their love will never retreat,
they teach you a lot and compliment you well,
they help you learn valuable things so you will excel.
they appreciate your quirks and all that you are,
they will correct you even if doing so leaves a scar,
because they look out for your best even when you don't,
and they can't stand idly by, they just won't.
they may step back if you ask them to,
but their love for you will always be true,
even if you turn your back on them or push them away,
their love for you as tested will in no way decay.
for in them a love is being perfected,
that will grow and remain even when rejected.
for they are learning and receiving from the master lover himself,
whose love is sacrificial and unconditional, not something on a shelf,
kept there to admire but never gets involved or is performance related,
such love would be insufficient, unstable, and easily deflated.
no greater love have they known than from the ultimate friend,
in whose steps they follow so their love you cannot outspend,
and in time their friendship will help to transform you,
into a person who loves as much or even more than they do.

Sacrifice

I want to learn to love you,
to have my life poured out,
as a living sacrifice on your altar,
and stay there even when it hurts.

You call me to full obedience,
for partiality is a sin,
so take all of me and make it yours,
as a daily sacrifice and an offering.

Take my heart and shape it,
take all that I hold dear,
never let me run after my own desires,
because they don't draw me near.

Your will for me is always best,
let me never play it safe,
but follow your example of a poured out life,
and that never ceases to give.

I often contemplate and rationalize,
before and instead of following through,
help me to deny myself and my foolish pride,
and do all you ask me to.

May the fear of death or of man,
never get in the way,
I want to walk boldly in your truth,
no matter what, and come what may.

I want to learn to love you,
to have my life poured out,
as a living sacrifice on your altar,
and stay there even when it hurts.

Words

Words are powerful, we have heard many many times,
when spoken out loud we can't press rewind.
But they begin way deep down in the secret place of you and me,
for in that place lies the thought of who you really think you be.
Words can heal, words can hurt, words can encourage, words can destroy
words should not be taken for granted, words are not to be tossed around like toys.

With a word spoken, things begin to be set in motion
with a word spoken, Jesus was brought peace to the raging ocean.
With a word spoken, people are set free, others lose their heads
with a word spoken, some find friends, others are left for dead.

Words are powerful, so be wise when you speak
use them well, and you won't have to retreat.
Because you will be counted as one who builds people up,
the things you say will encourage and help them get up.
When they are feeling down, you will have a well spoken word
for you are wise in speech, because your words are from the Lord.
Sometimes the words you speak may not be readily accepted,
because it's the truth others want to avoid, and so it goes rejected.
But in time because they know your words are not meant to hurt,
it will when accepted from danger help them to avert.

So be careful what you speak, because words have power
practice to speak in a wholesome manner no matter the hour.
Think on things that are noble, pure, lovely, and the like
and your speech will be definitely Christlike.

Don't Let Me Fall

Looking down, it is a long drop, a long way to fall

emotions running wild, heart rate increases

there is a thrill as the blood runs in the veins

in a frantic pace as you contemplate the drop

trying to smile, trying to remember, trying to hope

been here before and has lost too many times

been here before and has fallen too many times

this time it will hurt much more 

is there any escape? is there any help?

knees almost buckle, legs are getting heavy

you can't feel your hands but you can see them

yet you wonder if they are still there

the tears build up, not again, you whisper

made some strides lately and was feeling great

finally things were looking and moving up

then this, this can't be happening, not right now.

Looking down, it is a long way to fall

no cushion or ocean or safety net, just earth

you try to encourage yourself with a thought

"well if I fall, then it will be all over, 

no more losing, no more falling"

you question, "will the earth open to swallow me?"

you answer, "that would be better. 

no trace, no dead body, no evidence."

Looking down, it is a long way to fall

it will hurt but it will be over soon

but deep inside there is a quiet thought and strength,

a wish, a hope, a prayer, a cry, 

"don't let me fall."

Faithfulness

I stand here feeling alone.
where are you?
why did you not come?
what about your promises?
I trust you, but this has shaken my faith.
are you still there?
are you listening?
Please answer me.
I know you love me,
but I am at a loss to understand
why this has happened.
are you still here holding my hand?
My eyes are filled with tears,
they are stuck together.
As a matter of fact, I don't want to
open them. 
O, I feel it's better to not see again.
Better to not see the smiles of others.
Better to not face life again. 
Better to not feel again.
Better to not feel pain.
question, where is the joy in this?
maybe it is better to be numb?
are you there?
are you listening?
I need you. I really need you.
Help me to believe in your love a little more
today than I did yesterday.
Help me to see you even with my eyes closed.
Even as the tears stream down my face.
Even as the pain rages on inside.
Help me to feel your warmth and loving embrace.
Help me to trust a little more in your promises today than 
I did yesterday. 
Especially, that you were there with me
when all this went down,
and that you are here with me today, and will be tomorrow.
Today I am trying to rejoice but it is hard,
and I am grateful you know that
and still choose to love me unconditionally.
Your word says I will find strength in your joy.
Your word says in my weakness your strength is 
made perfect.
So, in spite of my tears, my pain, my disappointment,
my questions, and all the indifferent emotions and thoughts,
I say: Thank You. 
Thank you for being near, 
for never forsaking,
for always loving,
and for being true to your promises.
Help me to never lose faith in You
and Your promises, 
O faithful God.


P.S: This was written for a couple going through a tough time at the moment.

You

The sun smiles, its rays caresses my face
it brightens my countenance
and my whole being lights up
but there is more to it than that

The butterflies flutter with such grace
decorating the fields with their beauty
flying carefree and am enjoying it
but there is more to it than that

The wind blows sweetly against my back
its arms around me
I am loving its gentle embrace
but there is more to it than that

The birds call out as they take flight
their formation is a wonderful sight to behold
I take pleasure in it and stare
but there is more to it than that

The more is because of a gift
The more is because of a joy
The more is because of a love
The more is because of a pleasure
The more is all because of You,
and I am grateful.

Obedience

Dear Father:
May we be obedient to you instead of striving to be popular.
May we be obedient to you instead of striving to prove our way is best.
May we be obedient to you instead of trying to play it safe.
May we be obedient to you instead of trying to prove our strength.
May we be obedient to you instead of following other wisdom.
May we be obedient to you instead of following the majority.
May we be obedient to you instead of running away.
May we be obedient to you instead of running to our own plans.
May we be obedient to you instead of working to impress others.
May we be obedient to you instead of working to our own ends.
May we be obedient to you instead of just talking about it.
May we be obedient to you instead of just thinking about it.
May we be obedient to you instead of our feelings.
May we be obedient to you instead of other teachings.
May we be obedient to you instead of what we view as rational.
May we be obedient to you instead of what is promoted as right.
May we be obedient to you having count the cost.
May we be obedient to you with unfailing compromise.
May we be obedient to you as living sacrifices.
May we be obedient to you with all out commitment.
O God, bring us to this place where our obedience to you is unquestionable.
Help us to see that our belief and trust in you is seen in the our level of obedience.
Help us O God, to imitate Jesus as we strive to live in obedience.
And always pray, Lord, not my will, but your will be done.
Thank you so much.
                                            Amen!

God and a girl

There was once a girl, beautiful and sweet,
she subtly stole my heart, and knocked me off my feet.
This girl was lovely, generous and kind,
it really felt good, that she had captured my mind.

This girl loved me too, which of course I could not believe,
I thought there was some trick, that she had up her sleeve.
So I looked to find the trick, but found that there was none,
she was genuine, and I knew for real my heart she'd won.

There was once a girl, gorgeous and refine,
she subtly got my attention, and I could not decline.
This girl was a beauty, made of sugar and spice,
it really felt good, because she was so nice.

This girl I really cared for, there was nothing for me to lose,
but it didn't work, and it did hurt, and I had to sing the blues.
Not good news I know but it was God's plan I now see
to save me from myself so I can be what he desires of me.

He did not want to go that far, but I left him no choice
he had enough of me not to listening to his voice.
Always wanting to do things my way, to captain my ship
Asking his help sometimes, but not accepting much of it.

This girl I still love, and always will, she's great
for she did what was best and that I truly appreciate.
I am not the best fit for her, in honesty I can now say,
God will bring her that person, and that I believe and pray.

What is it?

He sits, he stands, he sings, he speaks
is it real? or is it a dream?
He smiles, he cries, he hurts, he laughs,
is it real? or is it a dream?
He likes, he dislikes, he feels, he numbs,
is it real? or is it a dream?
He desires, he inspires, he aspires, he perspires
is it real? or is it a dream?
He praises, he curses, he vows, he doesn't
is it real? or is it a dream?
He studies, he crams, he tries, he doesn't
is it real? or is it a dream?
He works, he loafs, he gives, he doesn't
is it real? or is it a dream?
He seeks, he searches, he longs, he hunts
is it real? or is it a dream?
He believes, he doubts, he trusts, he fears
is it real? or is it a dream?
He cares, he neglects, he remembers, he forgets
is it real? or is it a dream?
He befriends, he betrays, he joins, he separates
is it real? or is it a dream?
He writes, he thinks, he hopes, he dreams
is it real? or is it just a dream?
He succeeds, he fails, he frees, he imprisons
is it real? or is it a dream?
He attends, he dispels, he waits, he rushes
is it real? or is it a dream?
He keeps, he disposes, he holds, he releases
is it real? or is it a dream?
He helps, he shares, he builds, he empowers
is it real? or is it a dream?
He fights, he cowers, he accepts, he refuses
is it real? or is it a dream?
He serves, he steals, he hires, he fires
is it real? or is it a dream?
He plants, he uproots, he saves, he kills
is it real? or is it a dream?
He doesn't know, but he wants to,
so what is it? 

Be Still

I woke up yesterday morning with that verse of scripture on my mind. Psalm 46:10a, "Be still and know I am God." Most of my day was spent thinking about that verse. My theme song was "I am God" by Kirk Franklin and TobyMac. Whilst writing this I am listening to that song. The focus of that song is this same verse, Psalm 46:10a. It is an honest song that has a powerful truth and message.

We find it hard to be still, especially with our busy lives. We feel insecure and get fidgety when we are not doing anything. It's like we are getting a panic attack. After all, we measure busyness and productivity by how much we do. Sometimes it seems like a sin to just sit and relax for a few minutes. There are times we confuse relaxation and times of being refreshed with laziness. So imagine when we come across this verse. Holy smokes, that can't be for us today? Nah. That was for those people in those old days. You know, before technology and our modern times. They had more time to "kill", I don't. I got to keep going and doing. I won't stop till I drop. We may not say this in words, but our actions do.

A look at the passage will quickly point out the many things happening. Mountains moving into the sea. Mountains trembling. Nations raging. Water roaring and foaming. Kingdoms tottering. Substitute those for things happening in your life and around you. The psalmist talks about where his refuge and strength lies. He gives an invitation. He said, "Come, behold the works of the Lord, ... (v. 8-9)." Then comes the advise. Then comes words of peace. Then comes the voice of a loving Father. Words of comfort. Words from the one who is The Almighty. "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

Spoken with all authority. Spoken with total assurance. Spoken fully and unmistakably.  Though the mountains tremble. Though the mountains be moved into the sea. Though the waters roar and foam. Though the nations rage. Though life is getting crazy. Though life is hard at the moment. Though tomorrow seems hopeless. Though you are weak, tired, want to escape. There is only one thing to do, "Be still, and know that God is God." Sounds easy I know, but it is hard.

Imagine this for a moment. If you find yourself in such a situation, where the mountains are trembling. The waters roaring and foaming. Nations raging. Mountains moving into the sea. All of this happening around you. Life would seem hopeless. You would be expecting to die, right? You can't do anything to save yourself. Imagine how crazy it is to be told, "Be still and know that God is God." We will struggle to make sense of that message. We need to be rescued. We want to be as far away as possible. Probably as far as another continent. But there is nothing you can do to save yourself. Your only hope is to trust in those words. If trusting in those words was your only way to ensure you survive, would you not try it? Would you not ask for help to be still? I know I would. God wants us to. In such a time we will truly experience that mighty fortress, a bulwark never failing.

Be Still, And Know That I Am God.