Adam and Eve should have given the apple to a pig. They would have had and enjoyed bacon. That would have been something to take credit for. Imagine all through the ages, Adam & Eve's bacon: Straight from the garden". (p.s. I know the Bible said fruit, not an apple).
Three "days" have withstood the test of time. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I think tomorrow's real name is the-next-day. But they refused to hyphenate it in order for it to never be literal. Tomorrow never comes.
Who voted on how many days each month should have? What grievance did they have with February? April, June, September, and November have 30th days, just one day less. But February fell short by 3 days, and then 2 days once every four years. Talk about disrespect, discrimination, dismember.
The enemy of my enemy is his mother-in-law.
I am so much out of luck that the message in my fortune cookie said, "you have to pay for this cookie". It turned out to be true.
The children will always be the future. Just not the same children.
The children are the future, but the future needs adults.
I used to pretend I was a boy scout until one day a coworker give me a pretend knot to untie, but I could not untie it.
My imaginary girlfriends all leave me for real guys.
I would like to turn down the volume in my dreams. So my subconscious hired a few mimes.
There was once a girl so beautiful that she not only "took my breath away" but everything I owned too. Turns out I was too far behind on all my payments.
I sometimes like to believe the fish that swallowed Jonah was bulimic.
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